I said:
"I have found it sad to see so many who feel that the "prize" has been won, so there is no reason to continue to impress, to continue to date, to continue to do the things you did as you were courting, the very things that brought you together, the very things that made you fall in love with one another"
I can SEE this, yet even in my marriage we lack in this very thing. I would imagine that most marriages fall into this category to some degree or another - in that, you have the euphoric love feelings in the beginning, can't stop thinking about one another, don't want to spend one minute of any day without them, do things together that you enjoy with one another, even do things that might impress him/her. Then you get married, and that euphoric love is still there, but so many things that used to be either start slowly or immediately drop out of the picture - leaving you with a sense you've maybe lost love, wondered why he/she doesn't care about you anymore etc.
If you haven't yet read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman - do it now; because this will enlighten you with yet another insight about your spouse, yourself, and your marriage. Why things feel "off", why the love you once felt for each other is maybe stale, why you might just feel like room mates.
Don't just do the quiz to find out what your primary love language is... read the book so it really binds you to why the love languages are so engrained in us, why they are so important. And don't say that your primary is ALL of the love languages - because you DO have a primary and when the primary is filled, then everything else tends to just fall into place. Telling your spouse that you are ALL of them can feel overwhelming.
I have read the book before, ages ago in fact. I have reread it recently and then read it to my charm. It has been a great insight and re-insight. We took the quiz, and I was actually surprised a little at what my primary and secondary is, but as I look more into it, it makes a lot of sense. And it is amazing to me when we really internalize how we feel when your spouse does something special, that it really does feel like your "love tank" fills up. On the same token, if your love language isn't or hasn't been met, your love tank is dry.... and you can really feel that. It is also amazing to me that when we are both doing what our love languages are - how much better our marriage really is! How much more in tune we are with each other, how much more we care, that there is less tension, and our priorities tend to be set more straight. We feel like we have more room to push forward than to sit at a standstill or fall off the fence backwards.
So ya, just go pick up your copy of The 5 Love Languages today!
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