Grow Together So That You Stay Together

"Be friends. Build an ongoing friendship with your spouse. Play together. Work together. Laugh together. Make time for each other & share your life. Problems are easier to deal with when you're friends. It's easier to give & receive forgiveness from someone that you believe has your back. Make sure that your spouse is a friend. Grow together so that you stay together" -LB. "A friend loves at all times" -Prov. 17:17" -- Marriage Missions International

Be Intentional

“If a married couple with children has fifteen minutes of uninterrupted, non-logistical, non-problem-solving talk every day, I would put them in the top 5% of all married couples. It's an extraordinary achievement” -Bill Doherty. Don’t forget to connect with your spouse – the one human you have vowed to be closest to. Be intentional." -- Marriage Missions International

This reminds me of what a therapist once said. Before you even pay your mortgage, figure out for the month of what you and your spouse are going to do recreational-wise together. Not that it means that you can go spend whatever you want on your recreation and bag the mortgage, the whole idea of it is that you are putting your marriage first. You are holding it at the highest priority. 

You should be having positive recreational outings with your spouse, but also with your children on a monthly basis. That will give you some balance into your home and family life. Not sure what to do? Google some ideas online in your area, and then make a list and pick them that way. Or an idea I got off Pinterest earlier this year was to make a "Can of Dates". I got a plastic container from Walmart (the ones you'd put maybe some chocolate covered raisins in. Not sure why that is the first thing that even popped into my head, since I am not a big fan of those. But hopefully you get what I am saying.) You gals can decorate the container all cute if you want, just for fun. I did! Then I typed up several different ideas, printed them off, cut them out and folded them into the jar. Each month you can take one or more out and figure out what your activities are going to be for that month with your spouse. You can have a similar jar for your family too. It kind of makes it fun and to be able to do activities that maybe you might not try or forgot about doing.

Besides that, general every day chit-chat is important - I mean, don't you want to know how your spouse's day went? And don't just ask and then not listen, care about them, care about their day. Be intentional. Stop what you are doing and listen. Don't be distracted by other things going on around you. Even your children - if what they need can wait, help show them that your marriage is important, help instill in them this importance so that when they are married they will have a positive start to their marriage. 

Another good thing to do is talking every week as a check-up on making sure you are on the same page... that is huge in marriage! Goal setting individually and helping our spouses make their goals to be reality. If you have the lack of want and lack of feeling like your spouse's goals are important, I would suggest that you change your attitude and be excited about their goals. Of course, you'll want those goals to be something that would enhance themselves - whether that be spiritual, emotional, or physical. But, be excited because this is your spouse we're talking about, this is your spouse who has their own desires, wants, and goals and the first person that you should feel support from is your spouse. If you don't feel support then talk it through, be attentive to the needs of your spouse, care about them, work through them. 

Be intentional. Choose to Love.

Let Love Be Your Highest Goal

"People say love is blind. It's just the opposite. Love sees things no one else sees. It sees both the potential & the flaws in your spouse. But if you have God's love, you love in spite of them. Jesus said in essence, 'do you want to know what life is about? Love God; love people.' That's what marriage is about. The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 14: 'Let love be your highest goal.'" IS it your highest goal?" -- Marriage Missions International

You Have A Part to Play

"In EVERY argument & crisis, you have a part to play. Perhaps you're in the wrong, or maybe you were technically “right” but standing up for your 'rights' made something go wrong in the relationship. Whatever the case –you had a part to play. The road to healing begins with admitting that. So choose to own it. Do it deeply & sincerely with no 'but you shouldn’t have…' attached. It only takes one to initiate change." -- Marriage Missions International

One of the best things a father can do...

"One of the best things a father can do for his kids is love their mother & build a strong marriage. The effort you put into your marriage is worth it to your children. A strong marriage breeds security. A child with 2 parents who are still in love—& show it—doesn't need to fear that the foundation of her life is going to shake & buckle & split apart. Your marriage is worth every ounce of effort you put into it." 

- Marriage Missions International