Unconditional Love

One of my favorite movies is "Fireproof" and then the book that comes directly out of that movie, "The Love Dare." I'm sure that I cannot adequately describe the feelings that go into that movie, as well as what one can get out of it, as well as what I got out of the first time I watched Fireproof, and then read The Love Dare. It is amazing in every aspect, it hits home and connects to a lot of people individually and together within marriages. It is heart wrenching, yet motivating.

I have been thinking about unconditional love. (Of course if you are in an abusive relationship, this does not apply to you.) So, you fell in love and those euphoric love feelings of newlywed bliss has slipped under the rug, fallen off a cliff perhaps. Now what? Fireproof your marriage, do the Love Dare.... But what if your spouse never comes around with your attempts to fireproof the marriage, or do the love dare? Then what? I think many people turn to divorce at this point in time. What happened to for better or worse, in sickness and in health etc.? I think divorce is the easy way out, though divorce is not easy and neither is remarriage. It is hard to move forward alone, and have that unconditional love outlook, when there could be so much more and it is disheartening when there isn't or when you continue to hope and it never comes. At this point in time, I think people tend to put walls up so that the hurt of it all doesn't bombard you day-in and day-out, so that you can function on a daily basis. Emotional walls however are not healthy for anyone, but sometimes a must when you just have to do what you have to do. So, if one has to do that, how does one incorporate unconditional love into the picture? I don't have the answers to this whole thing. Just pondering it. What are your thoughts on this subject?

I think it is possible and necessary to have unconditional love, it isn't easy when you might feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Just because your spouse isn't putting forth the efforts to make the marriage what it should be, doesn't mean that you have to stop. Though hard to engage into something that makes things questionable in your mind, that you've been hurt with, and eventually might make you feel numb too. This is me, I analyze situations whether they be what I've been through in the past, what I've been through now, or what others have or are going through.

If you are hurting and you haven't seen Fireproof, I highly recommend it. And if you have, see it again! Another great motivating movie in trialing times would be Facing the Giants.

Half a Pair of Scissors by Richard & Linda Eyre

This is a great marriage article (part 1) on oneness in marriage by some of my favorite authors & friends.

Meridian Magazine - Half a Pair of Scissors - by Richard & Linda Eyre

Attitude

I came across a quote on Facebook, that I shared on my wall. In my comment under this quote I said this:

"...okay, not always, but I really like this quote because it is true in many ways."

And then it got me thinking... where does this quote really apply in our lives? And here is the quote from the Razzles Dazzles Facebook page:


"My Attitude 
will always be 
based on how
you treat me."

The one relationship that comes to mind when I read this is from one particular past marriage, one that was emotionally abusive. I think about the actions of this individual - from the sweet talk, being nice for a few days or so and then letting their true colors rock the boat over and over again because that sweet talk is just that - sweet talk and nothing sincere or commitment-based within the marriage itself. 

When one is treated with such disrespect, with disregard to their feelings and thoughts, yes the attitude towards your spouse that is demeaning you will definitely be based in many instances on how they are treated. I remember that feeling all too well. And the thing that makes this more-so, is the very thing that makes your spouse not even realize that they are treating you this way, that they are either exempt from making mistakes or that they are over the whole marriage in "helping" (though they are actually hindering) you and the marriage rather than looking at the marriage as whole, at themselves for that matter. When we approach our spouse with this attitude, their attitude will be based on how you just treated them. Most definitely! 


I don't find that this quote is true in all circumstances, because I don't live my own life this way at all. But when someone is treating you day-in and day-out in ways that demean your spirit, your feelings, your thoughts - yes, this quote is very fitting.