This isn't always an easy part of forgiving, but is a must in any relationship:
Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right.
It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.
~ Unknown
Have you been in an argument where you both felt you were right, where you went in circles trying to prove the other one wrong? Who was wrong and who was right is a whole other subject. I'm not even going to delve into that one, at least not yet. So, in the process of bickering back and forth, sometimes you just have to walk away from it... take a breather... Bickering for one doesn't get very far on the positive scale. And how does it help for both of you to walk away and not one of you come back to apologize - ever thought about both of you being in the wrong? Esp how you're treating each other by bickering back and forth? Effective communication, forgiveness, apologizing isn't always about waiting for the other one to say sorry. You may still have a POV to the issue, as does your spouse - but treating each other with the way you are communicating is a good reason to come back to each other and simply say "I'm really sorry that I talked to you like that... I am really sorry that I made you feel bad..." Starting over with your conversation with your spouse in mind instead of your POV in mind will go along way. And if you are unsure of how to do this, investigate what the best technique is for you and your marriage. I would highly recommend "Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson, I would also recommend The Speaker Listener Technique - with this however, I would look into finding a marital class for you both to go to - this is better learned in a hands-on setting, though it does take time to learn the technique, it is worth it.
Forgiveness is a must to keep the peace, to keep our vows and covenants the utmost part of our mind and heart, to keep from festering bad feelings and letting them wound our souls - though forgiveness is only the first step in the process. Healing is the next step in the process, taking actions to resolve what is being forgiven. Though, I have seen many, as well as myself trying to take the healing approach and then forgiving - but I have found throughout my life that it is a harder road to be on, like you're carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders and your heart. It is a longer process, a draining one at that. When you approach it with forgiveness and then healing, there is a sense of relief, the heaviness of the very thing you are forgiving isn't so heavy, it isn't so draining, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel with new hope pretty much immediately, at least that is how it has been for me.
Simply, forgiveness comes in all shapes and sizes.
Forgiveness is a must to keep the peace, to keep our vows and covenants the utmost part of our mind and heart, to keep from festering bad feelings and letting them wound our souls - though forgiveness is only the first step in the process. Healing is the next step in the process, taking actions to resolve what is being forgiven. Though, I have seen many, as well as myself trying to take the healing approach and then forgiving - but I have found throughout my life that it is a harder road to be on, like you're carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders and your heart. It is a longer process, a draining one at that. When you approach it with forgiveness and then healing, there is a sense of relief, the heaviness of the very thing you are forgiving isn't so heavy, it isn't so draining, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel with new hope pretty much immediately, at least that is how it has been for me.
Simply, forgiveness comes in all shapes and sizes.
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