We've all heard the term "keeping up with the Joneses" --- but have you ever thought about how that applies to you in your marriage?
This study comes out with what is healthy in the dating within marriage... This other study comes out with what is healthy intimacy-wise... And it goes on and on.
No marriage is the same as the Joneses next door. Just because they are dating this many times every week/month or their intimacy is more or less than what you are doing in your marriage doesn't mean that you or they are wrong and the other is more right. Every couple, every marriage is different; it is what best fits for you and your spouse.
I think that the media and studies can add the pressure of what you're doing right or wrong in your marriages; and yet make one think that something is terribly wrong with your marriage or your spouse even, when if you take a step back from what that study said is "normal" - you may just see that what is best for you and your spouse is completely fine, completely content, completely ideal to your situation, your love languages... essentially the way you "tango" in every aspect of your marriage is absolutely just fine. Of course we all could use room for improvement, and marriage is always a work in progress. But just because the Joneses are doing something totally opposite to what you may be doing in your marriage, doesn't make your marriage a failure, it doesn't make your marriage bad, or crippled or make it out to be wrong. Everyone does it differently, for various reasons, namely because your ideal marriage is different from someone else.
I think once people get their marriages out of the Joneses book, they might just see what is normal for them and be able to emphasize more on what they are doing right, what they need to be doing, and move forward rather than blame this or that and compare to the studies or what the Joneses might be doing.
So, what can you do to create what is right in your marriage?
No comments:
Post a Comment