I'm sure you've heard that attitude is everything, that when we change our attitude our perspective in our trials change for the better or worse if you have a bad attitude. And this does apply to marriage to. I know for myself, when I change my attitude in situations, feelings, the marriage itself does get better. But, I think that this is a worthy subject to go into.
There is a difference between choosing to be happy - which YES can
happen, changing a point-of-view, changing perspective, changing attitude -
whatever you do in that regard WILL change things for the better if you
allow it. It is really an amazing part of life when you do put that into
affect, it can help marriages, it can help lessen stress, and overall
allows you to be at your own best - and then so you can be at your best
for others.
BUT, if there are some issues within relationships
that have not been resolved, choosing to be happy doesn't automatically
erase everything, it doesn't mean that everything suddenly goes away,
and that life goes on and you start at a clean slate. Problems will
arise and you have to as a couple work through them together - of course
you have to learn what works best for you on how to work together, if
one way works for you but not the other person, you find another way and
then practice, practice, practice! And of course, again, if there are
issues in the past that are hurting your spouse still and you have not
resolved them, choosing to brush it aside isn't going to help your
marriage, it would be stupid to brush it aside for one, it would wound your marriage in the here and now and cripple
your marriage in the long-run because it was never dealt with properly. It is unhealthy to not learn to work through problems, because problems do and will arise.
Choosing to respect your spouse of their feelings, choosing to understand, choosing to work through it together, is in essence choosing to be happy within your marriage.
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